Wednesday, September 28, 2016

In the Flesh

I was talking to an esoteric colleague last night, in the flesh, attempting to get him to apprehend the true nature of our reality.  Although people often intellectually recognize that they exist within their own mind very few people use this as the foundation of their realized experience preferring the delusional state of believing that they look through their eyes at the actual world.  When describing my experience of reality, cellular consciousness, in the flesh, I often leave people somewhat dumbfounded - he was shocked that I could live this way.

What people would consider their inner mind and physical body I consider and live as mental constructs inside a completely immobile bubble of physical awareness, perception and consciousness. Everything I observe around me, the shadows on the wall of the cave, are constructed out of the mental light of my mind. Although I can feel like I turn my head and body and observe different aspects of the bubble around me when I will this to happen what actually happens is the world turns around me as I am permanently locked forward, fixed in one position, looking at the holographic display in mind of so-called physical reality from some other vantage point within that same mind.  I have never directly experienced physical light only the mental light of my consciousness - I have never felt anything, I have only felt the feeling.  When I move, rather than the hamster ball of my consciousness actually moving, the world whirls through me, different images being shown on the inside wall of the ball.

This wizard had previously promised a demonstration of his magic, some manipulation of probability or the mind of another individual, but I informed him that this (form of magic) is only changing the nature of the images on that wall, nothing more (if even that - see below on the nature of time). Magic that does not take into its stride the structure of our consciousness/time described above and the truisms that go along with them, is simply a more sophisticated self delusion.

Outside of the cave (out through the tunnel) of this bubble of perception exists ''my'' higher mind, a shared world of imagination, an astral future full of incredible light, which bathes the cell of my consciousness alongside others and which is populated by astral entities (mostly insectoid) that seem to have a more involved understanding of reality and that are not always willing to part with their secrets.  It is an interstitial fluid, a bloodstream of time. Time progresses in this ball, I cannot stop the forward motion of time - but with extreme efforts of will it seems to be possible to peer into other parts of the time, to actually shift the shadows on the wall so that you see the shadows of 200 or 2000 years ago.

I tried to explain that once fundamental realities like the above have been embraced there are various practical upshots for the magician, if this is all very disturbing existentially. The structure of the magical temple can be permanently built into your hamster ball.  Just like the biological cell has various organelles which complete its metabolism so the bubble of consciousness can have its furniture and tools installed.  You don't need a temple room in the physical world persay because you are always in front of your altar and always standing on the pentacle, the light of the lamp is always over your head, and the four archangels always hover around you.

Someone once told me time is a flat circle.  That everything we've ever done or will do, we're gonna do over and over again.  And that little girl and that little boy, they're gonna be in that room again, and again, and again.  Forever.
True Detective, Nic Pizzolatto

Although the acceptance of truths like:

  • I do not move, the world moves through me
  • I always look forward
  • My bubble of perception is contained in the larger universe of my subconscious mind
  • The existence of the physical world and free will are massive assumptions
  • My mind is the only encounter-able reality
is accepting and experiencing reality on what I would consider a 5-dimensional level (i.e. from the observer's true perspective) rather than a 3-dimensional level (a fallen state where the observer considers themselves an actual physical object which looks out of their eyes at the actual physical world), the bridge between those experiences, i.e. the dimension of time, is what fascinates me the most and seems the most difficult to resolve.  Some of the more difficult realisations that I have had to accept (from conversations with Raziel) are:
  • There is no absolute free will, no ''magic'' and therefore only prophecy
  • Free will consists of the ability to select from a very finite number (approx. 14 variations) of possible universes which involve ''me'' and to form opinions about myself and the world, i.e. free will is the ability to criticize
  • Most (99.9999...%) universes are dead or unrealisable
  • Only universes where time travel exists cohere
  • This timestream is effectively a museum closed off to protect the invention of time travel
  • Any number of entities may be viewing through my exhibit at any given time, and forming different opinions and I may be one of those entities
  • The future already exists, is the astral plane, and is entirely populated by time travellers (the past is probably very similar but I have not had this confirmed)
  • Space does not exist in the future, or past, only time
The individual I spoke to last night seems fairly typical of the modern esoteric community - a self appointed uninitiated chaos magician of the type where the term is really being used as an excuse for dabbling and creating a pick and mix salad bar of fairly primitive magic fundamentally based in the delusional/egotistical alteration/manipulation of probability/other individuals via strange attraction with a sense of exceptionalism and unique destiny who occupies the delusional state of 3d thinking the vast majority of the time being unaware that this is a mere sliver of the possible reality they can be experiencing or occupying.  Of course this is not to disparage all chaos magicians, only those of that type.

Although these realizations seem fatalistic/pessimistic at first glance, especially to the individual mired in matter and mortality, I don't believe that to be the case.  The giving up of illusory freedoms and notions of the self opens up an entirely different universe and source of meaning.  The concepts of Year Zero and the Astral Future are ultimately optimistic.  The mental light of the temple lamp becomes eternal and omnipresent in your cell of consciousness. In this 3d universe of delusion this perspective inevitably leads to a philosophy of forgiveness (of the self and the other) as by far the most sensible/rational critical position for any observing entity to adopt.  It becomes clear that this museum of life is the necessary sacrifice to preserve the true freedom to dream.

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