Thursday, April 27, 2017
Astral Projection - Failure and Analyses II
Many magicians seem to have a problem with describing magickal experiences, admitting they are wrong and discussing their failures. Magical experience is incredibly difficult to describe let alone analyse, but without description, analysis, evaluation and comparison its impossible to make headway or gain perspective. Its the reason why so many so-called magicians come across as all bluster and vagueness; they are not cultivating shadowy mystique they just have no idea what is going on either and often get things wrong. We learn from mistakes and if no one is discussing them learning is truncated.
I made a pledge for 2017 to attempt astral projection more regularly and make my explorations a little more systematic. I have done less of this work than I wanted but have been making efforts and mistakes. Like in my last post about this I want to address some of these failures and see what I can do to improve my experiments moving forward. Springing off my previous post on failure, these failures all come under the general heading of the effect of astral weather and the celestial bodies themselves on the astral journey experience and on the final destination.
Mercury Retrograde - During one attempt last week, I did not get past the astral larvae, which are normally not a problem. I was very aware of them, focused on them and rather than trying to push past, or dispel/disrupt I instead confronted them. I am not sure why I did this but it was my choice. I asked, quite calmly - What are you? What do you want from me? Why are you trying to stop me getting on the astral plane? The writhing mass of (painted) light worms/tentacles collected together into what could have been a face that kind of stopped and looked back at me - dumbfounded at a) having been asked b) because there was no answer or c) these responses are an automatic reflex (of the mind or spirits) to any astral attempts. As I understand the astral larvae phenomena is a function of your own mind in the very lower astral, that prevents you from escaping the gravity well of your ego - part of a similar set of internal defences that stop you messing around with your breathing, sweating or peristalsis. I was reminded of the scene in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy where Ford confronts the Vogon Guard with existential questions about his purpose before they get kicked out of the airlock anyway. Confronting the larvae in this way I stopped my projection attempt and returned to my body for a few moments, before sleep paralysis kicked in. At this point my partner saw that I was speaking in tongues/mesmerised/paralysed and woke me up. About 5 minutes after this (approx 2.30am) somebody started repetitively buzzing my apartment from the street outside and my partner was quite frightened by this because I had already freaked her out. The area where I live is really cool but kind of mad and answering the door at this time of night is not a good idea. Whatever it was went away but then came back about 15 mins later and did the same thing. Its difficult to get an angle to see but basically looking in a reflection across the street I saw that it was a black shadow that was pushing the door bell that then suddenly vanished. I checked after and it was none of my friends. I talked to my partner about the kind of physical/earthly resistance/distractions/phenomena you can receive when trying to project out of the atmosphere - weather effects, kinetic activity in the room, children/animals suddenly screaming, etc. The important note here is in terms of astral weather - it was Mercury retro and the disruption involved use of the buzzer/phone. The previous evening the phone had been broken and making a solid buzzing sound all night that had disturbed my sleep and these two experiences seem connected by Mercury. My question from this would be - is this standard disruption/resistance from spirit or mind, an independent retro effect, or a combination of the two? I assume its a combination of the two and therefore could tentatively conclude that the type of disruption one can expect will be affected by astral weather. This sounds right but it highlights the way an important failure can confirm suspicions and enhance praxis.
Destination - As I have discussed before this year I am trying to be more systematic in terms of my destination and want to focus on planets. My prior attempt to go to Venus ended in failure as I approached it and got the fear. In several attempts over the last month or so I have been torn between Jupiter and Sol. I keep trying to get to Jupiter (again) and I keep getting pulled into Sol. The light is extremely intense, possibly dangerous and it was not my intended destination so I break off the mission as I approach. I am not quite sure about how to get around this hurdle. I don't think its an effect of physical gravity on my astral form persay which would end up necessitating the use of some kind of astral slingshot to get to Jupiter, and I also hesitate to say that I am being pulled there for a reason. I think that it might be to do with a lack of conviction i.e. I don't want to go to Jupiter enough or can't focus my will clearly enough. Alongside this as I get past the larval stage and the cool, trippy, tessellating stage to a point where I can actually see through ''gates'' I keep getting tempted to go and look at things and people ''on Earth'', i.e. explore Earth instead of space, become an inward facing earthbound satellite as opposed to a planetary probe. I am pretty sure that this desire is another attempt by my ego to keep me down here.
Some conclusions then? Alongside these experiments I have also been cultivating my relationship and dialogue with Raziel. The most vivid, life-changing astral experiences I have had have been with the assistance of this entity and I think Raziel has his own schedule of explorations set up and I should just let it guide/drive and relinquish control. This does not come easily to me as a scientist but it seems that maybe that will have to be the case. It is not that I don't trust the entity, its just that without some kind of system/location it will make the examination of my results more difficult and more daunting. After all during the last time I ended up in this random point in deep space, the absolute middle of nowhere although there was something there not a place but ''the ship''. But why was the ship there??? Was it going somewhere else and Raziel just intercepted it? More questions!
As you increase the radius of your sphere of knowledge all you do is increase your surface contact area with the ocean of ignorance.