Monday, November 20, 2017

The Life Magickal

In answering the question what is magic for me right now? and to re-establish creative limitations I need to reflect on what magic was for me then and how/why that has changed over time.  Building upon Phantom Time I would say that my esoteric work was less affected by or conflated with other subjects during two periods - The Sefer Yetzirah Study which ran from 2001 - 2006 and the Gentlemen for Jupiter and Edward Kelley's Tower phase from 2011- 2014.

During the Sefer Yetzirah Study my life was almost entirely focused on theory and practice of Qabalah.  A typical day would be spent ''reading'' the Sefer Yetzirah, conjuring archangels, researching/meditating on letters and pathwalking.  Supporting reading was mainly in sciences - biopsychology and endocrinology specifically - but all of it was tied back to Qabalah and understanding how the letters of the Alefbeit manifest in the world.  Pathwalking was a process by which I and others in the group would conjure the letter itself on to and sanctify an actual physical path and then walk along it communing with the spirit of the letter through the phenomena it ''caused''.

My main focus during the intermediary period of 2007-2010 was catching up on a lot of reading in philosophy, history and literature that I hadn't completed because I was training to be a biochemist. I was also reintroducing theatre into my life - as a teacher and as a professional actor.  Although magick was still a very important part of what I did it was definitely playing second fiddle.  My motivation for a lot of the reading - Plato, Iamblichus, history of ancient civilizations, etc - was in order to get a better grasp of [the roots of] magick but I can't say I was a pure magician during this time as much as I was an aspiring Renaissance intellectual thespian, a fine but important line that I had crossed, now way more Marlowe than Fludd.

During the Gentlemen for Jupiter and Edward Kelley's Tower phase theatre was blended with magick for the most part such that nearly every play I wrote, directed or acted in was an active study and conjuring of Jupiterian themes - theatrical rituals where magick was central.  Other planetary forces were also conjured and when I moved into the Tower the focus moved towards Venus and Mercury.  Having residency there I considered it my duty to continue serious magickal research and Saturn began to dominate when the work culminated in the various ''time travel'' experiments of the 231 Gates Project and the conjuring of a variety of ''spirits'' - elementals, demons, ghosts, angels, Enochian entities et al - in support of this.

The period after 2014 - 2017 saw a somewhat necessary dip in magickal endeavours due to the recovery time necessary after sanity testing experiences in the Tower.  My experiences were/have been mainly limited to astral projection, planetary theatrical ritual, prosperity magick, metaphysical research and the continuing dialogue with Raziel.  I have made a series of real world presentations on the Metabolism of Time and have gathered a small group of students for continuing the tradition.  My non-magickal theatrical and acting endeavours have increased as a result of the prosperity work.

In comparing the Life Magickal with the Life Theatrical or Intellectual during the Sefer Yetzirah Study phase there were a lot less people involved in my life: my job(s) afforded me a great deal of private personal study time; my second University degree was spent in relative social isolation with a lot of communion with nature during pathwalking experiments; I was single-ish but with a series of excellent muses.  During the intermediary phase where my magickal pursuits dipped a little I was surrounded by well-educated, well-travelled people (students and teachers) in a different country and I ended up in an intellectual arms race.  Social pressure from colleagues definitely skewed my reading and philosophy and although I am not decrying that influence they are one of the main reasons that magick lost its centrality.   The role of social pressure in rewarding various types of transactions and punishing others (alongside the naturally daunting subject matter itself) is one of the reasons why magick has been so heavily conflated with other topics in our international community.  Magick regained its centrality when I integrated it with the new subjects and/or knowledge when they were harnessed or digested if you like but not when I pretended something else was in fact magick.

Another important influence has been the Gods - the two phases that were dominated by magickal work were also dominated by Gods - in the SY study phase I worked incredibly closely with Aphrodite and in the G4J/Tower phase with Enlil.  Both times I used Liber Astarte vel Berylli to fully bond with them.  Having that relationship front and centre was so essential to the success of my magickal aims it is something I have to consider as I renew the direction of my work.

The final point that comes to mind now is the target itself - during SY study the aim was clear, once that was finished I was left a little adrift until the G4J whose own target was perhaps too ambitious for many of the Gentlemen to complete and which for me was eventually subsumed by the challenges presented by life in the tower.  Although I have been focused and stayed relatively on topic (time travel) in the aftermath I haven't ever clearly stated my aim and my conversations with Raziel and astral explorations have been way more haphazard than I would like.


- reduce number of extraneous people
- establish strong relationship with chosen God
- clearly define aim

I am going to leave this here for now and while the first point is easy to achieve, I will explore the tricky thinking behind and my problems with the last two in the next couple of posts as a way of clearing my thoughts on this. 

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Phantom Time

I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth, forgone all customs of exercise; and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition; that this goodly frame the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy the air, look you, this brave o'er hanging firmament, this majestical roof, fretted with golden fire: why it appeareth no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.

Hamlet, William Shakespeare

I first engaged with conspiracy theory in the aftermath of 9/11 and I rapidly encountered chemtrails.  After a very cursory reading of the topic this neophyte decided that he wouldn't dive deeply into it as he was sure that he would get lost and go insane - seven years later, after mooching around in lesser conspiracies, I dived in anyway.  Cue: holographic planes; alien orbs; mass governmental sterilisation programmes; sky-bound Faraday cages to thwart solar storms ''human cost be damned''; etc - the chemtrail conspiracy is a paranoid's dream.   I learned all kinds of things about how we know mass aviation is destroying the atmosphere - global dimming for example - and thought about how often conspiracy theory obfuscates real problems. Back in 2008 when I became a ''chemtard'' I had played Horatio in a production of Hamlet and a line from Rosencrantz had been haunting me (along with the spectre of chemtrails) since then - ''to think, my lord, if you delight not in man what lenten entertainment the players shall recieve from you'' - and suddenly it dawned on me, I was and had been depressed this whole time.  Sure I had powered through life with my hypomaniacal blend of enthusiasm and pure will but inside I had been fairly miserable - the sky had become for me a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours; I had used the theory to externalise my depression.  When I came to understand this the clouds didn't lift, the planes didn't suddenly stop ''spraying'', and I am not saying there is no truth to chemtrails, but I did realise that the apocalypse is personal, global, ongoing, wherever, whenever and whoever you may be.  The seeds of this fatalism bore fruit with my journey and residency at Edward Kelley's Tower and in the subsequent dialogue with Raziel on the nature of time-travel; in submission to destiny a great portal of new freedom suddenly seemed to open in a way that I hadn't yet conceived.

I came across the Phantom Time Hypothesis in the aftermath of the discombobulating ''What year is this?'' in Twin Peaks - the Return. Half conspiracy, half alternative history - phantom time suggests  that someone has inserted 300ish years into the calendar and that the dark ages never actually happened - by this theory it is 1720.  I got a little worried about this extra time, I mean even if we added a bit of spectral time in there it could mean this is 2011 and we didn't miss the apocalypse!  I got my sister to ask some spirits and they said it was actually 1987 although I haven't found the time or courage to corroborate them at the moment.  Returning to chemtrails and the externalisation of depression, I feel that in coming across the notion of phantom time it is now worth reflecting beforehand on how that (chance encounter, fixation, obsession) is an externalisation of something going on within me or within people around me, spiritually or otherwise. 

There is time that has passed that I may think has been in the development of myself as a magician but in reality have I been avoiding her - dressing her up as ''being an ethical individual'' or ''figuring out secret government programs'' as opposed to systematically exploring her mysteries?  Have my so-called decades of work in the esoteric arts in fact been meagre years?  Have I padded out my studies by including a number of things that aren't really magick?  There is a kind of casual/lazy ''Thelemic'' definition of magick which is basically whatever you want it to mean and there are various extreme positions held in the grimoire niches by venomous rogues which are definitely magick but might be too exclusive.  That said I think there is a difference between being a conspiracy theorist who studies a bit of magick and a magician who studies a bit of conspiracy theory; the same with identity politics for people who equate their activism/rants on social media with actually being a magician. In the final analysis it comes down to time spent - if you are spending the vast majority of your time researching different conspiracy theories or ranting about identity politics/saving the world from injustice then you're only dabbling in magic at best... With the extent of the challenges to personal identity in magick I could say acting was a magickal pursuit but when you dress magic up as something other than she is then you are only spending phantom time with your true muse.  I think we often like to pretend magick is this, that or something else because the realities of magical research and practise are actually more frightening, more demanding, and more exhausting.  In the years I have been writing and engaging with people I have lost track of the number of posts I have seen in the blogosphere that were actually about other (at least what I consider) extraneous offtopics, and I can count the number of detailed accounts of theory, practice and results on, excusing my hyperbole, just over one hand.  Some people do magic and just can't/don't want to talk about it (or just want to charge you for it) but some people, including myself at times, have clearly, at least to me, conflated her with other things. This disinclination and the (subconscious) need to escape through conflation can emerge from any number of possible sources but here are a few:

  • For sorcerers who are all about results, reluctance to write about or do is wrapped up with pride either not wanting to (be seen to) brag or actually succeed (self-sabotage), not wanting to seem inadequate, or not wanting to try because failure would be too much
  • For mages who are more about theory their theory is often so mingled with their personal identity that they are afraid of writing about/testing because of being judged or having someone/their results destabilise their already limited grip on reality
  • For wizards who are more about experiences the fact that those experiences are beyond words and the theories, methods are impossible to try/write up because logic/language fails or the sheer insanity of it all glares through

In attempting a more rigorous definition of what doing magick or magickal research constitutes I hope to avoid padding my own studies with phantom time.  Interdisciplinary and comparative work (with medical science, psychology, history, the arts, etc) is very important but when they displace the focus and are no longer magick I will rein myself in.    Certain theatrical ritual(s) is/are clearly designed and deployed as a magick act, others are not - same with conspiracy research, politics, day-dreaming, meditation, philosophy, etc.  This is not really a ''what is magick?'' question as it is ''what is magick for me right now?'' - I know that the lines between areas of knowledge are nebulous and they will vary between individuals but I think its important to (re)establish and narrow these boundaries for personal disciplinary and creative reasons.  In answering the four fundamental questions (who I am, where I am, when I am and why I am) Phantom Time has introduced a wonderful new element of doubt for me to explore but regardless of what year this is, the clock is still ticking and extraneous knowledge and spurious activity are ever present distractions from my magickal goals.

Don't clap too loudly, it's a very old world.

The Player, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Stranger Things 2 - Hermes/Mercury

Like Twin Peaks - The Return, Stranger Things 2 is also saturated by very specific obvious esoteric references and is using an identical method of execution i.e. painting by numbers.  As the Secret Sun blog pointed out the whole show is dripping in orange (backdrops, costumes, lighting design, our new Max character, etc) which to me immediately suggests the number 8 (in Ep. 1 we meet a character marked as Eight), Hod (in Ep. 7 a giant orange 8 appears) and the God Hermes/Mercury.

Watching fairly closely the entire show is a ritual to Hermes/ Mercury - alchemically speaking the quicksilver will be extracted from its orange ore.  Hermes/Mercury is the Patron of athletes, boysherdsmen, hospitality, thieves, tricksters, gamescommunicationscientists, doctors, magicians and although we see all of these themes explored in the show the primary focus is on his role as the Guardian of the Soul through the Underworld, Crossroads, Thresholds/Boundaries and the Promethean aspects of Fire.  Scenes which may have seemed extraneous to the less Qabalistically inclined are there to feather the God and are used in the same way that someone might put Mercurial related objects on a Mercurial altar.


Below is a list of specific examples of where we see these features:

  • Athletics - there are a number of athletic scenes, the basketball playing and the shower room scene
  • Hospitality - we see the theme of hospitality twice a) the motel room and b) the conspiracy theorist's house
  • Theft - Explored in the faintly ridiculous punk robbers ensemble; stealing money from sister to play arcade games; stealing car of older brother
  • Trickery - When Nancy and Jonathan use their guile to trick the head doctor to revealing himself on tape
  • Games - the arcade scenes
  • Communication - the endless use of walkie talkies
  • Magic - in the psychic powers of Eight and Eleven
  • Herdsmen - the way in which Dustin attempts/suceeds to train/domesticate Dart
  • Science - in the laboratory scenes
  • Medicine - all the doctor scenes
  • Underworld - Will's journey into the underworld through his psychic link with the shadow monster, the way he locates Hopper in the underworld facilitating his rescue
  • Crossroads - the various branches and intersections of the vine system of the shadow monster that are mapped on the walls of Will's house 
  • Fire - fire is used repeatedly as a means of controlling the shadow monster by pretty much everyone

The show essentially concludes the ritual to conjure Mercury from the ore with the kids making their way through a field of broken orange vessels (the pumpkins) to perform a fire ritual at a crossroads on the threshold between the underworld and the world of the living.  Their final escape is secured by our ''herdsman'' Dustin.  The orange veil is then lifted from the show and we are drenched in blue, silver and white symbolising the loving kindness of Chesed or perhaps more likely the quicksilver metal acquired from the oxide.  If you are going to understand how they paint by numbers, you kind of have to understand the numbers. 

Qabalah is the New Black.

Monday, November 6, 2017

Cabbages and Kings II - Stoics

Diane - What did you say your name was again?
Tammy - Tammy.
Diane - Fuck you Tammy.

Twin Peaks the Return, Lynch and Frost

The Stoics believed that the universe was a single pantheistic material God and that the soul must be corporeal otherwise it would have no real existence.  Logos operates within the material substance therefore it is better to understand that material as pure mind and that various chunks of matter are thoughts (words of the word) - the soul then, fine and subtle as it is, is also of this mental material.  In this interpretation I can see no reason why the soul cannot literally be DNA - a time travelling reincarnating information spiral which probably stores all memory of that particular branch of the Tree of unfolding Life.  Within our tradition there are some nebulous definitions of terms like soul and spirit, but for me the soul is the genetic material incarnation (not the physical body persay which is the ''Guph'') and spirit is the time-traveller consciousness (logos being a kind of superconscious spark that permeates the mental material) that can become aware of its various ''incarnations''.  This spirit finds it easier to travel along soul lines (back through the history of your current incarnation) that are connected but with more difficulty you can go down one line of DNA, change at various junctions in the Tree of Life, and spring out in another person's perception. Just for clarity in my back and forth with Io, the soul as I define it is similar, a playground of time and anti-time that allows spirit to manifest in the first place.  The interplay of spirit (Neschamah) and soul (Nephesch) are what we experience as consciousness (Ruach).

After discovering the Astrogenetic associations back in 2001 I have oscillated between explaining astrological synchronicity as either the action of remote spatial influences on the subtle genetic material via gravity or light (reflected or otherwise and ultimately forms of this mental material) or whether they are markers for various positions in the cell cycle and have no direct physical influence simply mirroring each other.  When Kabbalists talk about scales and fractals like we do with terms/concepts like Hod of Netzach or Tifereth of Tifereth we can do so in such a way that diminishes various levels, a kind of ''top down'' view of Kabbalah a la primum mobile that champions the fixed stars and then the central galactic black holes as the crown of the hierarchy - but to my mind we ''descend'' to the Merkavah (Yordei Merkabah), Atziluth is not ''up'' it is within, i.e. the mathematics that underwrites reality which you can find the same in cell or star - the number one as the true primum mobile.

When we see the whole of the galaxy as an organism, similar to our own but on a much greater scale, it makes sense that there would be guardians set against us for different celestial levels, in the same way there are all kinds of immune functions that are targeted against our own cells - the body kills a lot of its own cells and defends against them getting lary.  When I am teaching astral projection I talk about how your own Outer Mind (Neschamah) has to guard against the action of your Inner Mind (Ruach) because it is not responsible to manage such things as sweating, blinking, peristalsis and so on and will therefore block the entry of yourself into yourself - if we are not responsible enough to manage our own sweating then we are clearly not responsible enough to mess around with the gravity settings of distant stars!  ''Refining'' the Ruach allows it greater glimpses of spirit - the Neschamah which experiences such things as simultaneous multiple incarnation across time (and where magick really happens), etc - the less ''refined'' the Ruach the more likely your experience is to be only in line with the DNA of your current incarnation.   I feel like refined is the wrong term implying too much judgement for my liking,(it lends itself to top down thinking) but being close to one's initial* soul is a different experience than that of leaving or distancing oneself from it and it seems that being close is the default and the other requires more work - like swimming against the current.  Unlike the Gnostic (closer to spirit) or the ''Sorceror'' (closer to soul), the Kabbalist attempts to walk the middle path.  In my own work these two competing drives have often been reflected by two different ''animas'' blonde and brunette - Alice for the Gnostic, and Red Riding Hood for the Soul** - with the third way some unspecified redhead, which for now can be Agent Tammy Preston.

Gordon Cole - Agent Tammy Preston has the stuff Denise.

Twin Peaks the Return, Lynch/Frost
*All souls are initial from the perspective of the Neschamah which experiences simultaneous incarnation.  Accessing that simultaneity from within the confines of a specific incarnation can be disorientating.
**Blondes are not confined to metaphysics nor are brunettes confined to the cthonic.  Beth Gibbons is a great example of a Blonde Red Riding Hood.

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Cabbages and Kings - Letters, Powers and Time

The time has come the Walrus said
To talk of many things:
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax
Of cabbages and kings
And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether pigs have wings

Through the Looking Glass, Lewis Carroll

It is my understanding that the relationship between a letter and its kingship (the domain it governs) is like the relationship between genotype and phenotype i.e. that the letter contains the information which is then expressed into its characteristic form.  I don't see a duality at work here they are both of the same ''materia'' but one is internal code and the other external expression.  This materia as I see it is not ''matter'' persay but Flux, a composite of time and anti-time (consciousness) - the letters are ''anti-time'' the expression of them are ''time''.  Anti-time is not different to time other than that it is reversing.

I am re-reading some of the Flying Rolls of the Golden Dawn regarding astral projection and crystallising some of my objections to their method.  In Ritual Magic of the Golden Dawn there is an account of a Russian dilettante (Natalia) who used an I Ching hexagram as a gate to project through and then, after describing a snowy wilderness, transformed into a wolf and began howling, barking and attacked someone in the room. Although they originally put this down to ''the race fantasies of a hysterical Slav'' upon later analysis they discovered that the hexagram she had been using talked about the ''superior man transforming into a panther or tiger'' something Natalia could not herself have known.

In a bizarre inversion of this approach the standard (Qabalistic) Golden Dawn practice is to memorise the formal (Golden Dawn approved) symbolism of a letter or Tarot card and then project into it and see the symbols you are ''meant'' to see as opposed to something more free-form like letting the letter speak for itself.  Since so much of the Golden Dawn symbol structure is obviously wrong this begs the question as to whether during this type of astral projection they are only seeing what they want to see as opposed to what is really there.  Besides the accounts of the Flying Rolls there are other examples of this forced astral distortion by authors such as DMK who after evoking the letter Tav, appeared to be having a vision of Luna (in my opinion the correct symbolism) and then who, through force of will, made himself see Saturn (this example is from the section in Modern Magick on Pathworking).

Natalia's story dovetails with my own experiences of astral projection through letters as gates which are now fairly extensive.  During the 5 year study of the SY it became clear in the early phases of research that there were fundamental problems with Golden Dawn/Thelemic symbolism especially the Double Letter to Planet associations.  This, coupled with a message from Raziel that said ''Abandon the Tarot, Focus on the Letters'', prompted most of us to conduct more free-form research into letters projecting in to, and from them, without preconceived ideas - the ''Natalia'' approach, if you like - then compared and contrasted with a mixture of different sources (including the Tao Te Jing). We found that our results were much more in line with earlier versions of the SY as opposed to later corruptions of it such as that found in the Golden Dawn qabalistic materials.  This speaks to an inherent power and presence, a kingliness, of the letter that can be papered over or diluted by a convinced enough, if deluded, will.  Taking this on board we used the symbol as a gate, saw into the mysteries of the letter and re-discovered them through open-ended inquiry.

The 5 year study of individual letters and their kingships culminated in two alternative arrangements - the ''Saadia'' version of the Tree of Life, a kind of default setting which shows a logical classical arrangement of the letters according to the rule of 3, 7 and 12 (sans G.D. baggage) and the Tree of Gates which is effectively each Sefira reimagined as the 231 Gates, where each Sefira can be rotated producing different letter-pairs as the paths between them.  Using the 231 Gates in astral projection (a mesh of interconnected letters on the astral membrane - the ispaklariot shown in the title image for the Hermetic Lessons) produced extraordinarily high quality astral experiences that almost always feel/felt like time travel - moving into a different time period and interacting with people there before being ''discovered'' and ''kicked off'' by (mostly) insectoid entities.  This astral work, amongst other things, led to the invention of the Time Phone, an astrological globe with three rotating rings inside that can be ''calibrated'' to different times, ostensibly as a means of communicating with the past or the future.  It is my opinion that the golem (GLM) is SY ''bird language'' for time traveller or ''prophet'' as the idea of time in the SY is expressed as gilgalim (GLGLM) circles* - through the Golem (and the letters of anti-time) we can slow down, stall, reverse (the effects of) and ultimately transcend time. Direct experiences that followed have convinced me that the search for the Philosopher's Stone, the Universal Medicine and Eternal Youth are so married to the notions of time and entropy that it is impossible that the geniuses of yesteryear would have missed it.

To come full circle one reading of the King sections of the SY, in response and addition to Io, is that it is directly referring to this ''cellular consciousness''esque approach to the SY, the Teli (Bola/Dragon) in the Universe are the genes in the nucleus (the king on his throne), the cycle of the year refers to the cell-cycle and therefore events in the cytoplasm (the king in his province) and finally the heart in the soul refers to how the cells interact/differentiate to form a realised body, the culmination of the genotype as the phenotype.  The letters are quite literally a force of anti-time since everyone of us can trace them within us to the dawn of life itself.  The 231 Gates arrangement itself sheds even more light on earlier and later verses.

O oysters, said the carpenter
You've had a pleasant run
Shall we be trotting home again?
But answer there came none,
And this was scarcely odd
Because they'd eaten every one.

Through the Looking Glass, Lewis Carroll

*CERN is a time machine.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Enlil and Dagan/Dagon

Well, young feller, you mustn't take too much stock in what people around here say.  They're hard to get started but once they do get started they never seem to let up.

The Shadow over Innsmouth, H.P. Lovecraft

With the rash of spectacular assaults by the Storm Gods upon the Earth one would be forgiven for thinking these Gods should be more associated with apocalypse than with fertility nevertheless throughout our history the Storm Lord is always associated with the crops and the tools we use to grow them.  The Storm Gods of ages past wanted to depopulate the Earth as humans had bred to unprecedented numbers and the noise irritated them but lightning is a vital component in the nitrogen cycle that feeds us especially in the times that these lords were well-venerated. 

For many years now I have worked with Enlil (in the form of the Raven) as my patron deity using standard codes from the world of Hermetic Qabalah - blue, the number four, planetary ''Jupiter'' hours and the principles of mercy and charity.  In over four years of work I have rarely missed a weekly incantation or evocation and toast to this ancient storm lord.  As part of the Jupiter work I went to the Temple of Zeus in Katakalon last Summer as an ''emissary'' from my own ''Jupiterian'' deity and supercharged my blue suit and my moldavite anti-time amulet in the grounds of the archaeological site.  One day I hope to go to Nippur - the ''mooring rope'' - but this is beyond my range at the moment.* The results have been completely transformative, overhauling my entire life (in a positive way) and almost always occur on Thursdays with features of the standard code listed above - raising issues that lead me to the free-will/determinism/time-travel work with Raziel, whether the various signatures (physical, linguistic and mathematical) act as strange attractors (and are the cause!) or whether I am mirroring a pre-existing history and that magic itself is not free.

As part of my celebrations of the 80th anniversary of the death of H.P.Lovecraft my theatre company remounted our original work - Lovecraft! - The Musical - this last Halloween Saturday.  For fans of the eldritch master the story is a blend of From Beyond, The Temple, Dagon and The Shadow over Innsmouth with an Arkham Asylum connecting structure and features Dagon as the principal protagonist.  I last staged the show in 2012 before I started the work with Enlil and I was very much surprised to find that Dagon/Dagan is either conterminous with the Sumerian storm god or his son and is also considered to be a god of the grain (dgn is the root for grain).  Comparing and contrasting my new research with the material in the play I was surprised to find various synchronicities with other Sumerian or Jupiterian myths as Dagon enters the Asylum to rescue the ''frog princess'' by shape-shifting, similar to the way Enlil navigates the underworld and captures Ninlil.

We were treated to two brutal storms in the immediate aftermath of each show and although theatrical ritual is the most powerful I no longer think of these rituals as magickal causes so much as rites that are ''timed'' to happen at the same time as the inevitable (although this year super charged because of environmental change) storms.  I might think I am doing the ''timing'' but this is delusional, I know only one iota of the workings of my own mind let alone that of higher dimensional entities that might treat reality like a notepad.  It is not so much an act of summoning the storm as much as it is the storm summoning me.  This ''de-centralizing'' of the magical act - no longer ''I am the boss twisting reality/probability around me with my strangely attractive sigils'', or whatever, but that cause and effect are entangled - reduces the selfishness and ego that is at the heart of many sorcerors' efforts and sublimates it into wizardry.  I don't do the magic but the magic is done through me.

You ought to hear though what some of the ol' timers tell about the black reef off the coast - Devil's Reef they call it.  Its well above water the most part of the time and never much below it but at that you could hardly call it an island.  The story is that there is a whole legion of devils seen sometimes on the reef - sprawled about, or darting in and out of some kind of caves near the top.

H.P. Lovecraft, The Shadow over Innsmouth

*Would ziggurats have been the focal point for lightning strikes?

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Blogos, Blogging and the Blogosphere

Boy that MC Hammer.  That was another boat that left me on the island. 
''Bill are you going to get on the Hammer boat with us?''
No, I'd rather stay here and eat my own flesh.

Bill Hicks

The reasons I maintain and will continue to maintain the Blogos are few and simple.  In order of importance:

1) To sharpen and focus my own ideas by forcing them into vaguely coherent (at least to myself) paragraphs
2) To read others ideas on similar topics to my own and grow from dialogue with those ideas 
3) To engage in the debate surrounding the direction of Occulture

1) Journalling this way was and is a good habit to maintain. Having to construct these essays is far more challenging than chatting, emojiing and giffing and, let's face it, you are what you do - if 10000 hours are required to be an expert in anything I'd rather that be metaphysical essays than social media chitchat. In terms of pure exercise its as good for the brain as an hour of mathematics and its better for the soul.  I have found it extremely useful to observe other people's journals and their own wrestling with this medium - particular the work of Disrupt and Repair whose Hazy Shade of Winter prompted this reflection - taking encouragement and inspiration along with formative disagreement from many of them.

2) is not satisfied by Facebook or other social media.  Facebook is generally a nihilistic experience of scrolling through advertising and examples of banality/mediocrity punctuated by various people screaming their hearts out from tiny little blue comment (Skinner) boxes.  Constructive debate is extremely difficult to find/sustain partially due to the format but mostly due to random people who don't really know how to write or form coherent ideas just pitching in and derailing it - if not then a notable occultnik falls prey to the demon of chat and the usefulness ends shortly thereafter.  I find it fundamentally demeaning and avoid it like toxic sludge.

Although FB can definitely be blamed in the most part for the decline in the quality of esoteric exchange no small part was played by Social Magic Reactions, at times wry, clever and observant, at times a game of ''shoot the noob'' and at times verging on cyber bullying.  It acted as a very powerful discouragement for certain people to share their ideas, compromised a chunk of the blogosphere, and I think the deity behind this was probably content with the damage it caused (if I understand how it originated correctly).   You could argue that this damage was surgical (that some people should not be allowed to share and therefore SMR acted as a kind of immune response?) but sometimes the maiming got way out of hand in my opinion. 

In terms of the privatisation of the blogosphere by various parties... well, fair enough right? It was their business and in many ways they built the scene so why not capitalise on that?  One only hopes they haven't killed the Golden Goose.

3) I feel that the Blogos has contributed in a number of ways:

- the work on cellular consciousness and the crossovers between cell biology /molecular genetics and esotericism is still cutting edge and probably revolutionary
- the work on Qabalah culminating in the Saadia Tree arrangement and the productive discussion with many regarding the Tree of Life
- the more complicated and difficult to express work on time travel as the unifying theory of the esoteric experience (although I admit I have enormous fun trying to get my head around what Raziel is communicating to me)

I realise at times my writing style may be either inaccessible for a variety of reasons (coherence, sophistication or otherwise lack thereof, required background knowledge, attempting to express ''non-expressible'' experience, etc) but I refuse to dumb down (or tone up!) to acquire a larger audience of people I am not interested in.

To those leaving the Blogosphere good luck on your travels through the rest of this experience. Disrupt and Repair you demonstrated a powerful intellect at work on tricky matters with a unique trajectory and will certainly be missed when you close the blog, I enjoyed both the complexity and sensitivity of your posts. Trainee Golem Builder you were a fellow Kabbalist and a rare resource in these dark times.  I took inspiration from the way you structured your own learning and the very high goals you set yourself.  Continuous peace and unending megablessings to you both.

Who knows what will happen to this dimension in the future?  I imagine it will depopulate like an abandoned level in World of Warcraft, only those souls remaining that cannot give up on the dream.  Who knows, who even cares?  I'll be here for the forseeable.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Anti-Time Clones and the Blessing of Yesterdays

Last night I had another one of those David Lynch dreams.  He (Raziel?) was explaining to me the concept of time travel specifically the relationship between time and anti-time (consciousness).  I was confused by the idea that anti-time runs against the flow of time (remembering past lives, predicting, analysing or otherwise side-stepping, prophesising the future, etc) as any point of contact between the two wouldn't form a realisable perception because the two perceptual faces couldn't be resolved into a single experience as you would be facing both ways.  He explained to me that although anti-time runs against the flow of time it does so as if it were a car reversing so the face of time and anti-time always face the same way.

Imagine two (infinite?) queues of clones - a realisable perception of the moment would only occur at a point of contact between two clones in the parallel lines since both time and anti-time are necessary for that to happen.   The line of anti-time clones are walking backwards, the line of time clones forwards so the clones don't move in pairs but are always changing partners.  ''You'' are not a time-clone on a journey through - the sense of ''you'' emerges as a contact between the opposing parallel clones - a time spark (Yechidah/Chiah?).  Since they are clones however the memories of past and future are shared, so by accelerating one line you can bring a different contact between a time clone and an anti-time clone at some point in the future or past.

This dream was caused by a thought experiment about a spell I call ''The Blessing of Yesterdays'' a time spell whereby at the end of each day you bless the day before.  After getting into the habit of this your future self will theoretically bless today from tomorrow.  This dream message seemed to be explaining some of the mechanism for how that works - a theory of assymetric trans-temporal magic challenging the inherent presentism of mainstream occulture.

This has not however stopped their earnings from pushing back the boundaries of hyper-mathematics, and their chief research accountant has recently been appointed professor of neo-mathematics at the University of Maximegalon, in recognition of both his special and general theories of Disaster Area tax returns, in which he proves that the whole fabric of the space-time continuum is not merely curved, it is, in fact, totally bent.

Disaster Area, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams

Monday, October 9, 2017

Should non Jews practice the Kabbalah?

So the other day I chanced upon a comment from an associate of mine which said that you should not practice the Jewish Kabbalah if you are not Jewish.  My first reaction was, of course, how could I ever possibly un-practice and un-direct experience those years of my life spent in transgression or whether I am completely beyond saving?  Then, taking a moment to quell my rising panic, I began to reflect on the implications of this latest edict as a great portion of the Western Mystery Tradition from the high Middle Ages and the Renaissance has been the study and practice of the Jewish Kabbalah - be it Gematria or working with Hebrew angels.  If you are not Jewish surely you can't practice Christian Cabala instead - a much bastardised and culturally appropriated form of the system - that would only add insult to injury?  Hermetic Qabalah is possibly even more criminal. The only solution would be to completely amputate the Kabbalah and all related subjects from the canon of the WMT so no one would ever run the risk of even accidentally breaching this edict.  You see how dangerous this line of thinking rapidly becomes?

The truth is that the Jews, like all races and religions do not exist in a vaccuum, there is/was considerable cultural mingling with everyone around them in ''the beginning'' (if there is such a clear date in historical reality) and in the diaspora afterwards.  The Kabbalah, in the sense of that understanding of a universal system begun in the 11th century (which itself is clearly influenced by Catharism and accompanying beliefs, Catharism itself a migrating system from the East) has its roots in the cosmopolitan culture of the Levant and Mesopotamia in the early parts of the 1st millenium (Sefer Yetzirah, etc) and many more influences which extend back into the dawn of civilization (Egyptian letter magic, Babylonian astrology, Zoroastrian Angels, Greek philosophy and mathematics, etc).  While the Jews made contributions and produced a fusion of the ideas that was all their own, there are a variety of similar works in letter magic all over the world.  The position is, of course, absurd, full of contradictions and ill-considered consequences.  If upheld the logical conclusion would be that no person who is not of a race or religion should practice that culture - what does this do to Paganism in the larger setting?  Can only people who prove they are authentically Greek (whatever that means considering the Slavic influence) work with the Greek Pantheon etc etc?   What about Egyptian magic?  Is Josephine McCarthy, for example, authentically an ancient Egyptian? If I am "English'' does that mean I can only work with the English Cabala instead? Spare me this madness at least!

This brings us back to the subject of reincarnation and that it is a widely held belief in the esoteric community that few seem to genuinely embrace.  Have I only been reincarnated from within my DNA's own timeline?  Can I only investigate something I have ''physical'' genetic roots in?  We must have a racially secure and culturally homogenous esoteric experience!  What??? - this is creepy.  Having been an animal, or a differently coloured, differently abled human in past lives, (and an angel in future lives), our experience creates compassion for animals, differently coloured, differently abled people and angels - leading to a more tolerant personality and a kindness towards all life-forms.  When we tap into that trans-temporal self we enable kindness, forgiveness, curiosity and wonder towards all life and consciousness.  On the other hand what I see continuing to rise, in comments from within our community like the above, is conservatism, judgement, constriction, boundaries and division.  I think the root of it might be a lack of creativity in certain quarters and a corresponding desire to shut down wonder and imagination - who knows?

Thursday, October 5, 2017

The Quarry of Magic Strange II - Entangled with Entanglement

Cooper, this is a portal, cutting through space-time, we're seeing into the heart of a galaxy so far away we don't know where it is in the universe.

Romilly, Interstellar

The other evening found me in a conference room in the Marriott with a group of famous actors (including Orlando Bloom), producers from Legendary and Amazon and several casting directors, where I was reading the screen direction for an upcoming TV series.  As I was walking down to the reading I had two distinct feelings: one, that there is no upper limit on Jupiter magic there is only an upper limit on a magician's consistency; second, that I was almost definitely living inside a dream. Like most Twin Peaks - The Return fans I was left [found myself] somewhat discombobulated by the finale - adrift like Richard Cooper in a maddening dream universe of shifting timelines that was possibly the creation of an extreme negative entity and it reaffirmed my belief that Lynch is a far greater authority on the nature of reality than showboat scientists like Bill Nye or Richard Dawkins.  As I walked down the street to the reading my heart changed, I stopped feeling like Richard Cooper and started feeling [and walking] more like [my idea of] Philip Jeffries, more used to this new way of experiencing time-sliding through reality.

As I entered the room a delightful synchronicity happened for amongst the famous actors I was reading with was David Gyasi - the actor from Interstellar, who deployed the pen and paper metaphor for explaining wormholes that I referenced in the Quarry of Magic Strange.  Similar to the Alice Entanglement had I now become entangled with my idea of entanglement!?  Was I always entangled with entanglement?  During the reading I had to dramatically describe everything that happened during the show (on camera) and I realised afterwards that I had just had the biggest break thus far but as I went to sleep my delusions of glory faded and the thought of that pen and paper returned to haunt me. The pen/paper wormhole model is always presented as a metaphor but what if it was literal, the fabric of time and space, a literal scroll, the pen a literal pen for writing - and for poking holes in the story. Like Cooper* was I/am I a character in a saga, could I fall through a hole into the 'real world'?  Am I time-sliding or does it only feel like that? Am I playable or non-playable?  Am I being played? My mind returned to conversations with Bridges about higher dimensional entities using ''pentatopes'' like pencils to ''write'' on reality - maktub - something like the squid things from the Arrival.  After hours of sleeplessness I fell into some feverish nightmares.

Many people watching the end of Twin Peaks edited their memory so the last line was ''What year is it?'' instead of ''What year is this?''  as the real line is even more disorientating.  Similarly I find that a lot of magicians hold and present certain beliefs without ever really examining them or considering their implications - a kind of esoteric virtue signalling.  I know a lot who believe in reincarnation but few who really live that belief, who live as a reincarnating soul rather than simply their current incarnation who happens to believe in reincarnation.  Its one thing to talk about magic acting on quantum probabilities [or whatever] and another to consider what parallel universes really means for any concrete idea of a self - it is one thing to believe in destiny it is entirely something else to live it.

''So you can take a shortcut across a higher dimension.  But to show that, they've turned three dimensional space into two dimensions.  Which turns the wormhole into two dimensions... a circle.  but what's a circle in three dimensions?''
''A sphere.''
''Exactly.  A spherical hole.  And who put it there?  Who do we thank?''
''I am not thanking anyone until we get through it in one piece.''

Romilly and Cooper, Interstellar

*Cooper is also the name of the protagonist in Interstellar - what does a Cooper do?  They makes and repair barrels, this resonates with the Shevirat ha Kelim - Cooper as the repairer of barrels is the force of Tikkun, i.e. Messianic.

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Mages, Sorcerers and Wizards

How come no-one says ''wizard'' anymore?

Darth Vader, Robot Chicken

I found the graph on a dungeons and dragons website but it kind of sums up the sense I am getting from all the constructive friction between these two opposing groups.  There also seems to be a correlation between the assumed title of magus and transcendentalist approaches and the assumed title of sorcerer and immanent approaches.  The Magus seems focused on a series of psycho-spiritual initiations in order to access the beyond whereas the Sorcerer seems unconcerned with this and primarily uses magic to satisfy earthly desires.  Generalising, ''sorcerers'' seem absolutely convinced that this is the 'real world', have no questions about it, and their ''results'' oriented modus operandi seems to be entirely about physical gratification - as Rufus stated in a recent post ''getting laid or getting paid'' - as opposed to more philosophical/metaphysical inquiry.  ''Magi'' on the other hand often seem to present an aloof ''qabalistic'' philosophy that puts them on a trajectory to a beyond outside of this dimension (and better than yours...), a transcendental ''other'' - whereas Sorcerers are just ''missioning'' about in this one; getting in adventures and such.

Our graph needs a z axis though! I remain unconvinced of the immanent in the sense of a shared physical world because I have never directly experienced it, only indirectly through the intelligibility of my senses to my [idea of my] self - I am also unclear as to whether this reality is ''editable'' in any sense which would pour doubt on the notion of sorcery itself.  Similarly I am not convinced of an accessible beyond mainly due to the problems that come about with trying to understand/experience infinity - i.e. that it can have no position or size etc therefore it is impossible to actually ''go there''.  Any other dimensions we are accessing that we might consider a beyond, are still natural, we don't need a ''supernatural'' persay. I think the dichotomy between spirit and matter outlives its usefulness fairly rapidly and we're going to find ourselves a lot less limited if we start rethinking our models in terms of time and anti-time (consciousness).  I don't think we need a ''physical'' and a ''spiritual'' with a neat little dividing membrane that the spirits live behind I think the notion of an entangled ball of threads of time and anti-time with no actual ''base'' physical/spiritual reality will provide a lot more explanatory force in the long run.

So this brings me to wizards (!) and why I am bringing them back.  Looking at the above most of us in the community are in fact wizards, we exist in the social-spaces between players at the extremes learning from both and concocting our own fusion, our own lines on the graph, philosophies bending and twisting under various influences.  Its not as simple as ''sorcerers'' or ''mages'' being right or wrong - neither the transcendental nor the immanent are actually understood by any of these people - its almost certainly a bewitching mix of the two or a paradigm shifting concoction (the z axis) that few of us have even yet conceived.

Wizard! I'm bringing it back.

Darth Vader, Robot Chicken

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Empty-headed II - Testicle Head, Kidney Head

Although we have been trained to believe that thoughts are trapped in our brains because we believe ourselves to be the physical body we appear to be, as explained in Empty-headed our [sensation of our] head is in fact empty.   In truth our entire [sensation of our] body is created by the mind and the head is in itself empty; our thoughts cloud about the face and occupy the seemingly physical objects in the world around us and beyond as well as all over our mental homunculus of our self.

In One Hundred and One Pieces of Mind Man Trivia we encountered the testicle-headed or ovary-headed personification of Yesod known as the Many Mannered Mind Man.  In the ''physiognomy'' laid out in the Hermetic Lessons we know that people with high testosterone are more likely to act in certain ways than others - for instance aggressive tendencies, lack of restraint, and paraphilias are much more common - and in describing their behaviour we could say they are thinking [and acting] with their testicles.  Similarly the other personifications are related to other glands and groups of hormones that produce physical changes in the body alongside altering the mood of the various individuals who express them in lower or higher concentrations than ''normal'' - those personifications could be said to be thinking with these other glands.

In confronting our bias towards facial-cranial centrism in this way we have to ask where is our head actually at? When we are talking to other people we generally talk to their faces but the whole body of the person you are talking to is a construction of their mind - why not talk to their feet, their belly, their nipples or their butt - as if it were their face?  What if that person is thinking with their testicles shouldn't you be directing your attention and intention that way as if their testicles are their head? Even deeper than this every nucleus of every cell is in fact a ''centre'' of mind - talk to the whole being as if it were all head and all mind, imagine your own body as all mind, that is, after all, what it is.

My ''natural grade'' is the kidney (particularly the adrenal cortex), I am ''kidney headed'' and therefore, fundamentally, a cleaner. Many doctors, assassins and even actors are cleaners (that's why we say ''polish'' the work, and we provide catharsis, a kind of purging of blood-spirits for the audience) - a toilet cleaner or over zealous housekeeper is effectively working in preventative medicine!  The more kidney headed I let myself become the more ''OCD'' I get, the more focused I am on polishing the form and the more capable I am of multi-tasking - if one is disciplined these special powers of the cleaner can be applied in a great variety of areas. 

Over the last few weeks, however, I have been actively investigating moving my ''head'' or centre into other parts of my being and re-imagining my own head (and others') as if it were, say, a tail.  This can be quite amusing as different thoughts/emotions/responses are immediatly generated by this experiment.  Allow your ''head'' to drift into the back of your knees, live as if the back of your knees were your head for a few hours or a whole day, more importantly diminish the role of the head/face give them the same level of consideration you would normally give to your heel, or your tailbone.

Monday, September 25, 2017

One Hundred and One Pieces of Mind Man Trivia

The Many Mannered Mind Man was one of the characters in a vision of the Tree of Life I recieved when I was younger, a memory palace created in a previous life to pass my knowledge on to myself.   Encountered by ''the Genius'' on the shore of the Great White Sea, later I came to understand that this Mind Man is a Partzuf of Yesod - a personification that allows me to engage in dialogue with this aspect of the Tree of Life and understand/remember the related ''physiognomy''.  Like the other characters, the Many Mannered Mind Man had his own chapter in The Book of Fantastic Lies - the book of the vision - called One Hundred and One Pieces of Mind Man Trivia.

Looking at the image we see:

- The skeleton confronting the symbol of its death/infinity on the shore
- The Mind Man's head is replaced with a Yin Yang to symbolise the phases of the Moon
- The tube attached to the helmet makes it appear like a testicle or ovary
- The tube goes down into the ''White Sea'' which is shown to be a mucus, or sexual fluid
- Within the white sea are perfect egg-pearls which represent individual moments

Why trivia?   As I have got to know the astral plane I have discovered that it is an ocean of ''our'' memory most of which is banal or trivial.  Trivia can aggregate into more significant encounters/beings (the icebergs in our vision) but the prima materia is the trivial.  As forms of head injury can produce perfect memory recall of banal things e.g. what day it was on a particular date, etc so we store all such things in memory but thankfully cannot access the vast majority of it.  The astral plane consists of  all memories, all trivia, every possible timeline all scrambled together - the Akashic Records.

Situated as we are in the Depth of the Past we live our life experiences in the aftermath of the moment, ever catching up with ourselves - am I already dead or dying and is my life actually my life flashing before me?  If we imagine our perception to lie just behind the moment we could imagine the next step ahead would be the moment itself but our perceptions/sensations of the history of our reality are contained within the outer mind which may then be finally contained in a physical body directly experiencing the ''now'' of physical reality.  Therefore we have to navigate this entire structure of the Inner and Outer Mind in order to apprehend reality itself, to get to ''now'' be it death or not - the Depth of the Past does not lead into the ''Depth of Now'' but the Depth of the West, the Depth of Memory.  If in the Metabolism of Time the Depth of the West represents the place the day goes to die, where digestion is completed - what does this say about the Depth of the Past?  Excreta?  Only when we understand that this life is itself but one memory can we begin to understand memory itself.

Since all time is history - including the future - our own timelines in the form of our DNA can guide each of us back into the veritable oceans of our ancestry.  Like the tube of an old diving suit these ''astral threads'' can breathe ancient past memories and ancient future memories.  The Many Mannered Mind Man, a higher dimensional being, freescales through these timelines, a Librarian of Babel, inspecting each moment to guarantee it is perfect - and perfectly trivial.  Confronting infinity reduces you [and all meaning] to the trivia that you are but however little importance your trivia has it still has some [ 0.0 recurring].  Only by confronting the vision of the infinite can we discard the baggage of extraneous meaning, our excreta, that prevents us ''becoming'' the Many Mannered Mind Man - and taking another step on the journey to discovering our true selves amidst the pearls of the infinite.

Thursday, September 21, 2017

Hermetic Lessons - Practical Work Discussion I

As they continue to do the work the students are now leaving the Depth of the Past and moving along the Path of the Moon towards the Depth of the West.  As they acquire their first spiritual ally (their chosen Lunar deity), learn to hone the will through Raja Yoga and continue to attempt astral projection, they will gain perspective on the ''past'' that they are leaving behind.

As much as our experience of life and ourselves is fundamentally mental it is also fundamentally historical. We very literally live in the past - signals take time to get from [assumed] physical reality through our sense organs until they are organized and transformed into the representation of reality that we experience in our minds.  Being behind the moment in this way makes it really difficult to tell how far behind the moment we exactly are:

- did this already happen and are we in a loop?
- is this mental experience of reality happening in a dying mind, are we literally ''catching up'' with our own death?
- mindfulness only allows you to connect with this mental impression of ''now'' what I call the immediate past, it allows you to catch up with your ''catching up''
- consciousness as anti-time a) the idea of reverie being a shallow experience of highlights of this life but building into a honed, sustained reverie that can take you back through your own geneline b) the idea of prediction and anticipation being a form of future reverie which we can again hone and sustain to see the future (which is also history)

I set the students a series of tasks to complete between now and December when the course will continue with a further three lectures/practical workshops.  They have to:

- form a connection with a lunar deity of their choice
- follow the instructions and attempt to get results on the astral plane or fail gloriously
- succeed in one restriction/observance
- acquire knowledge of basic astrology

I think that although teaching styles are a problem within the WMT they are ultimately regulated by market forces, i.e. the less able teachers are finding that students are not interested in their work and don't want to pay for tickets, venues, lessons, etc.  The more able/flexible teachers will find themselves overbooked and will have to create co-teachers etc.  The more pressing problem regarding teaching at the moment is the notion that teaching = leading and this is probably why the community is treading water.  More on that later but right now I want to explain/explore/justify some of these choices from the perspective of the teacher and also discuss some of the issues the students are having and how I will address them as we proceed -  transparency about the teaching/learning process makes a big difference to the quality of the lesson. 

As we move into the world of dreams and illusion* that is the Astral Plane (beginning in the Depth of the West) the students must have acquired spiritual allies - these allies are for their own protection and will allow them to sustain a vision for longer than they would normally and reduces the chances of being kicked off. Although there are a variety of possibilities here lunar deities are a good place to start as the Moon is the traditional guardian to the entrance to this realm and we are going to need relationships with all 7 sacred planets. As outlined in the Seshat working one of the students made very rapid progress regarding astral experiences after they engaged in a small ceremonial magic ritual to their chosen Lunar deity, then used the prayer as a mantra during gazing.  Although this student chose an Egyptian deity my general advice was to pick a deity that your ancestors might have worshipped.  Another of Irish/Welsh descent is making good progress and has just selected their deity - Rhiannon. I consulted a scholar friend of mine who put this together for her, along with an audio so she can perfect the working in the (closest) language to the deity:

O Rhiannon sydd yn fwy hynafol na hanes y tir
Eich ceffyl yn gyflymach na syniad ac yn ysgafnach na'r gwynt
O Rhiannon yn sefyll ar y twmpath gyda golau lleuad
Rwyf yn eich addoli
Rhiannon doeth, Rhiannon deg Dduwies gwirionedd amyneddgar

The other two seem a bit confused and overwhelmed by the choice but they will make it in the end I'm sure. One is mainly interested in the history of alchemy and has Italian ancestry so I am thinking of directly referring them to Luna/Diana as opposed to another Lunar deity - if you have any other suggestions please advise in comments.  The remaining student is being very cryptic so we will see what emerges.

In addition to attempts on the astral students are also working on lucid dreaming and sleep paralysis.  Sleep Paralysis, an experience I recommend new students attempt to have, has the equivalent horror factor of the midnight ritual in the graveyard (when it comes to developing the astral body) and some students crave that kind of intense experience to ''jump-start'' their work.  Ignoring the roll-over signal is an incredibly easy way of inducing sleep paralysis and after a few failed/aborted attempts students seem to be making ''progress'' there.  Its a kind of cheap, dirty trick to have an OBE quickly and get the conversation on ''what is the self?'' moving outside of the confines of the [sensation of] the physical body - it starts a very different kind of conversation than lucid dreaming does (which is a more common experience although not one that is commonly mastered).  We can also discuss the way in which the outer mind protects itself from the activities of the inner mind.

Certainly having to teach is making me reflect on my own experiences and knowledge and how I structure the transmission - in many ways I am adapting an AA style approach but with the Saadia Tree of Life.  I think the systematic development of different faculties is important and in some ways we are ''climbing the tree'' while maintaining an emphasis on unification and ''grounding''.

1) Depth of Past - Question physical reality and embrace truth of mental reality
2) Depth of West - Memory
3) Depth of Down - Remembering
4) Depth of Up - Forgetting
5) Depth of East - Inner Mind

As we learn about the properties of memory in the next set of lessons, we will be learning more than microcosmic tricks for enhanced reflexes, referencing, learning to think with the spine, or recovering from trauma more rapidly etc but also to ''remember into existence'' and ''forget from existence'', we will also be learning about how the faculties of remembering and forgetting correlate with synchronicities and de-synchronicities.  Ultimately we will be moving through physical, psychological, informational, ''spirit'' and mind-only models to our final destination the time-dependent or temporal entanglement model.

*Like spheres this is an introductory explanation for the Astral Plane, my own understanding is different to this but its a way in.

Monday, September 11, 2017

Twin Peaks and the Tree of the Return

 Its 2:53 in Vegas and that adds to 10 the number of completion.

Special Agent Dale Cooper, Twin Peaks the Return

Without denying other clear influences David Lynch used the Kircher Tree of Life as the structural basis of Cooper's Return to Twin Peaks. Beginning in Malkuth with Cooper sitting in the chair we followed him and his Doppleganger as they raced up through the Tree of Life through Yesod (the so-called ''Mauve Zone'') and beyond.  There are countless examples of where Lynch tied a particular colour to an episode or used other symbolism from the paths on the Hermetic Tree such as the ''palm'' (Kaph)  of Ike the Spike, or the ''hand'' (Yod) of Freddie, some of you may remember the ''window'' (Heh) where the loud scraping forces Cole to adjust his ear piece, etc etc.  Throughout the Return we see the magickal imagery of the Sephiroth (man on throne, wise man in profile etc) and Partzufim or magickal character-archetypes.

As I said in the beginning this idea of Cooper's Golden Dawn style ascent would prove difficult to resolve (and potentially cause magickal calamity) as the Kircher Tree is fundamentally broken but that he may have attempted to ''repair'' it in the remaining episodes after the characters had reached Kether - the way in which certain esotericists sometimes distinguish between a Cordoveran ''Tree of Emanation'' and a Lurianic ''Tree of Return''. I also said that there would probably be other discombobulating consequences from effects upon the cast and director all the way up to altering the weather.

As my close readers know I attempted something very similar to Cooper's ''botched'' attempt to restore Laura during my stay at Edward Kelley's Tower and although I was using a different Tree for my work, my colleague Vincent Bridges was using the Kircher.  Nevertheless the logical conclusion of this kind of Qabalistic work results in the recognition of the 4th dimensional self, the time-traveller/prophet, and an awareness of the kind of ''physics'' which it is necessary to understand in order to fully become this being and explore its new reality.  In trying to alter time, myself and Bridges, like Cooper, certainly failed but what emerged was a dialogue between us and ''entities'' (Raziel and others) regarding how to think about and operate in this new arena, that of being lost in time - which is of course the natural state of all humankind when they face up to it.

What is repair?  In my own research, repair is fundamentally about restoring the Fallen Daughter from her pendulant position in Malkuth to her original position in Binah, the seat of the superior mother which we see in the final attempt by Cooper to take Laura ''home''.  Repair means fully living your life with the knowledge that you are your mental self experiencing your mental universe as opposed to the delusion that you are a physical self living in a physical universe. I know that what I feel like I am inside right now is not my physical body but my own mind's homunculus of myself, I know that the objects around me are not the physical objects themselves but composed of the stuff of my own thought but I understand that it is one thing to ''know'' that and another to understand it and live that way.  It doesn't matter how much sorcery you do to get that foxy redhead or your fancy new promotion if you're going to forget it all when you die and wake up in your next life as if amnesiac from a shipwreck with your memories scattered like wreckage along the shoreline.  Its absolutely futile.  Without developing/becoming this time-traveller for all your sorcerer's power you're no different from anyone else.

In some ways we do see this repair in the finale of Twin Peaks which leaves Cooper both lost in time and questioning the nature of his and Laura's reality itself.  However disquieting it may be, Cooper, in fully understanding his new predicament is actually experiencing the awakening of the 4th dimensional self and eventually rising to meet the challenges of a fundamentally different kind of existence - is it future or is it past?  I feel like Richard and in truth I have for a long time.

What year is this?

Richard Cooper, Twin Peaks The Return

Thursday, September 7, 2017

The Seshat Working

My partner has been steadily building a relationship with the Goddess Seshat through ritual offering and prayer and she reached a point where she wanted to experience some ceremonial magic.  The altar was set with a personally sculpted small statue of the Goddess, a small leopard statue, a moonstone specifically dedicated to her, and three candles one silver, one purple and one black.  The ritual began with her reciting her prayer 27 times to some Egyptian meditation music, an evocation, and then a series of questions that she would like for Seshat to answer:

- what happens to the soul after death?
- is there a physical world?
- are you telling me I should work with Wadjet?*

Mr partner's experience was confined to a set of visual/audio hallucinations/communications which she interpreted as answers to the questions.  The first question involved the statue of Seshat seemingly levitating and generating some kind of halo while she heard the word ''spirit'' in her mind, the second question resulted in the statue seemingly flipping from 2d to 3d which my partner interpreted as being related to the holographic universe theory and the 3rd question was not met with an answer.

While sitting behind her I concentrated on using my astral vision to attempt to see Seshat - to some extent I was consciously attempting to remote view Seshat through time, to see the person that the Goddess emerged from, using the ritual as a means of targetting and zooming in.  As I tried to concentrate I went through the standard clouds of nagging thoughts and itches/fidgets - ''breaks''.  As I cleared these attachments I tried to find a way to Seshat.  My thoughts landed on Thoth and my mind's eye traced the line of his beak.  As the beak was ''traced'' into the astral it rotated 90 degrees and became my beak.  I was flying in the body of an Ibis low over the muddy banks of a reedy river when I came across Seshat who appeared as a young woman in a smock with some purplish eye makeup but otherwise covered in mud, and studying and playing with that same mud.  As I observed her she became rapidly aware of my spying and I experienced a strong pain in my third eye which rose in intensity until it ended the vision.  What communication there was between us was telepathic. I got the impression [she told me???] that she was a low born girl, ''a claydigger's daughter'' who was immensely intelligent and complex.

The answers or rather reactions I recieved were as follows: to the question about the soul after death I got the sense that she had attempted to answer this question pursued it to considerable depths and even in spite of her intelligence could not answer it; the question about the physical world she thought the question was stupid and answered it with a yes and a raise of her muddy hand; the last question fell on deaf ears she didn't seem to know who Wadjet was or why that would matter.  I think at this point she also began to ''see'' the ritual, to ''gaze'' back into our world at which point she commented that she didn't look like her statue.

The following day I taught the lesson on astral projection to my partner and the rest of the class and she followed through with the instructions and had her first astral experience using the Seshat prayer as a mantra to steady her mind.  In this vision, she passed through mist [her visualization of the membrane] to find herself on some sort of Egyptian boat with Seshat who was a young girl.  She felt the intelligence radiating and that she was in the presence of a prodigy who was believed to be some sort of goddess by the people.  Seshat waved her hands and a group of leopards approached the banks of the Nile and then began following the boat with her and she realised that she had power over the world and access to true magic.  She got the sense that Seshat subsequently died early and that whoever she was inhabiting the point of view of had lost a dear friend.  This vision had a massive emotional impact on my partner.

In conclusion Seshat seems to be an extremely intriguing character if perhaps a difficult Goddess to work with in the beginning being seemingly somewhat socially awkward and aloof with her brilliance (this might not be fair) and the intrusion of Wadjet into my partner's sphere is clearly coming from something else, worryingly or otherwise.  I am really happy that she has experienced the astral with Seshat and that in itself has brought her answers and more questions about her mortality/immortality and as a teacher I am happy that by following the instructions I was able to get a student there already.  I am looking forward to the results of the others.

*The Goddess Wadjet is a character in a story she is writing and the work began after the work with Seshat so she was curious as to whether they were linked or not, whether Seshat was somehow recommending she work with Wadjet.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Hermetic Lessons - Light

- Importance of reflex and memory, learning to think with your spine, ''catching the ball'' and the problems with ''lust for result''.  Effectively this is about staying ''in the moment'' but in a reflexive way like when you catch a ball without thinking about it.  Later on this becomes important because all mental processes and knowledge need to be accessed in the moment and reflexively because you can't google stuff about the spirits while you are in astral contact.  I find that students generally have a great problem with memorizing the basic concepts - what the planets do, which one rules which signs, etc.  It is work and it has to be done.

- Hyperspheres, 3-spheres, when discussing spheres of consciousness i.e. physical reach/touch, sense perception and thought we have to be aware that what our 5D ''cell'' really is is ''blobby'' as opposed to spherical, the membrane shifting constantly, and that their sphere is not only in apparent motion constantly through the various rotations of the earth but also our own movements.

- Thought is more like fluid; although in creating the sensation of perception we appear to be surrounded by the atmosphere and other physical objects since all these senses are actually constructed out of ''thought'' the true nature of our surroundings is more like a viscous fluid - this will probably occur on astral at some point

- Lucid Dreaming - when talking about lucid dreaming this is background work that will help facilitate astral travel later.  Various hints and tips about how to lucid dream will be shared, such as tapping the doorframe every time you pass through and asking ''am I dreaming?''

- Sleep Paralysis - although sleep paralysis is a terrifying experience I think it is essential to seek it out in the early phases as it cements important questions about the conscious experience of things and if it happens unexpectedly it can be really frightening.  We will discuss the rollover signal featured in this series of videos and talk about hypnagogic hallunications resulting from sleep paralysis versus hypnopompic hallucinations.

- Use of ''physical'' lights - here we will discuss that all light one sees is seen as mental light created as a result of the stimulus of physical light, one never sees physical light persay.  Therefore the use of candles or the rising sun as a means of stimulating the vision, while highly appropriate and effective, needs to be employed in the knowledge that one is looking at mental light.

- Astral Bodies - when teaching astral projection I will not be teaching students to imagine their astral bodies rising out of their physical bodies, this is flawed for two reasons, firstly it comes from the delusion that we are in 3d bodies with thoughts inside our heads and secondly by throwing ones perspective outside of themself it often confounds attempts to get on the astral.  Since we are already in our ''astral body'' as has been established by the prior lessons in cellular consciousness/magical anatomy we are going to start looking straight at the astral.  In this sense we have to start looking through the perceptual membrane

- Gazing, as I teach actors one can hold ones eyes in various ways states to project different states to the audience i.e. looking, seeing, remembering, reliving all involve a different position of the eyes.  One of the most important steps for effective use of the astral plane is the manner in which you should set your eyes - you have to gaze.  Practical activity: hold the eyes in the ways outlined above go through looking, seeing, remembering, reliving and then gaze.  Once everyone gets gazing then we have to close the eyes but continue to gaze, which will take another moment to adjust to.  When one closes one eyes one blots out the appearance of the physical world and is left looking at ones perceptual field from somewhere else ''inside the head''.  This often appears to be a flickering, pixelated field.  We are going to gaze at this.

- Astral Projection Lesson

*Egoic babble - the first stage of resistance to astral planing is egoic babble - anxiety, etc, the eyes tend to fall down in the socket and must be brought back up.  Focusing on maintaining the gazing is sufficient in itself to cut down noise
*Physical discomfort - rollover signals if trying at night, itches, back pains, etc resisting these takes a few mins of breathing and focusing on the eyes, if you ''break'' for whatever reason you adjust and try again
*Astral larvae - early phantasms as you approach the astral often taking insectoid, or snake like forms, can be filled with incredible menace - they can be ''broken'' into pixels by staring ''into'' them
*Unchecked personal distortions - seeing what you want to see, I find that in genuine astral experience beyond the gravity well of the self the visions will be crystal clear and vivid and contain some sort of discovery.  The quality of visions when you are seeing what you want to see is also much lower. 

-Successes (for the sake of these primer lessons)
*Tesselating, possibly intelligent fields of colour emerging from ''blobs''
*Contact with entities

During the 3 month break there will be a number of tasks to complete:

a) Astrological memorization, be highly familiar with the basics of astrology/astrological symbolism
b) Actively succeed in both a restriction and an observance
c) Attempt astral projection and ''succeed'' once
d) Select Lunar deity, learn prayer to Lunar deity in as close to as possible their language
e) Use moon app and always keep eye on the moon phase

The next set of three lessons will begin with calls to the various lunar deities and be focused on memory, time and archetypes (uses thereof)